Jerry/Daphne: We can’t get married at all.
Osgood: Why not?
Jerry/Daphne: Well… ln the first place, I’m not a natural blonde.
Osgood: Doesn’t matter.
Jerry/Daphne: l smoke. l smoke all the time.
Osgood: l don’t care.
Jerry/Daphne: l have a terrible past. For three years I’ve been living with a saxophone player.
Osgood: l forgive you.
Jerry/Daphne: l can never have children.
Osgood: We can adopt some.
Jerry/Daphne: You don’t understand, Osgood. I’M A MAN!
Osgood: Well, nobody’s perfect.
6:03 pm • 17 September 2009 • 509 notes
Joe: You don’t want me, Sugar. I’m a liar and a phoney. A saxophone player. One of those no-goodniks you keep running away from.
Sugar: l know. Every time.
Joe: Sugar, do yourself a favour. Go back to the millionaires. The sweet end of the lollipop, not the coleslaw in the face and the squeezed-out tube of toothpaste.
Sugar: That’s right, pour it on. Talk me out of it.
5:35 pm • 17 September 2009 • 71 notes
Joe: What happened?
Jerry: I’m engaged!
Joe: Congratulations! Who’s the lucky girl?
Jerry: I am.
4:33 pm • 17 September 2009 • 102 notes
Osgood: You’re taking the lead again!
3:57 pm • 17 September 2009 • 57 notes