Jam: I’m gonna be spending the next two years of my life at St. Bernard’s Boarding School, remember?! I’m gonna be outta your hair till I’m a legal adult, remember?! That way, all you have to do is go to church, light a candle, pray to a little statue for me, and voila! All is forgiven and forgotten, right mom?! Then, you can spend your days in guilt-free pursuit of more constructive activities like telling everybody else how screwed up their lives are! That way you no longer need the patience and understanding required to communicate on some normal level with your own child! And that way you don’t even have to think about how tough it was for you when you were growing up, and it’s a good thing too. Cause if you did, you’d realize what a LOUSY, GODDAMN, SHITTY-ASS, PARENT YOU ARE!!!
Mrs. Bruce: Jeremiah, what’s gotten into you?
Jam: I just lost my virginity in a confessional booth! Lord have mercy! For the last time, mom. Let me have my fucking drumsticks. Please.
Lex: I can’t believe you’re even thinking of committing a robbery, Trip. You don’t pass go and collect 200 dollars for pulling stuff like this.
Hawk: No shit, dude, is this really worth it? Sure you get your ass kicked nine ways to Sunday by that fucking gorilla, but it’s still a hundred times better than getting it porked for the next three to five.
Jam: And what about that girl, Trip? She’ll never forget this night. Even if you get away with it, she’ll be scarred for life. When are you gonna realize sometimes being tough means being tender?
Trip: Alright, everybody, SHUT UP!